Dreams

 [February 1945]

Maxim's POV

Front, left, right, front, left, right, front, left, right, front, left, right...

I kept doing that despite I am not on my duty anymore. To move my head front, left, and right. It's just... a habit. After many years serving for the neverending war. How long I have been leaving home? Leaving my beloved? Leaving my sweet home? Oh, I don't know. I only know it's dawn or dusk for now.

Only grey landscape around me. No green trees nor pretty flowers. I almost being pessimistic. To think I'd rather die on battle than had to suffer in this emptiness. I kept hearing some noises everytime I go to sleep. Either a bomb, or a gun, even dirty talks of soldiers behind the tent.

My thoughts interrupted when I saw a burned hut. The smell... was familiar. And it's true, after I found a dead body nearby. A young woman. Burned to death. She had been dead for a week, maybe. Her ash blown slowly, and lands to my forehead. Only some stale bread that not burned among the hut. But better have stale bread than starved, right? So I ate them all. Before going on journey again, I said prayers for peace in her next life.

The journey seems has no end. Am I really went to the right direction? Or I was walking further to unknown place? I really wish at least I could find a wood sign with city name carved on it. Or village name. Which means there's some habitant nearby. But all I can find right now is the empty steppe and taiga.

The wound on my arm worsens ever since I got shot two years ago. I pained every day and every night. And it feels like as time passed... I start to see things weird. I start to afraid if I can't make it to home and met my beloved Dyusha...

Come to think, I don't have a real home anymore. My flat probably burned too at Moscow. My parents has been absent for a long time. I don't have any brothers or sisters. My beloved ones... I'm not sure if he still loved me. Why should I live there anymore, then?

Now I'm entering another taiga. Better be careful for the bears now.

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Radoslav's POV

Bayushki bayushki bayu bayu bay....

I kept singing the lullaby that given by my late mother. A calm and humble tune, which usually will put me to sleep less than a minute. A thing that could calm me for now, as I was stranded alone in this steppe. I still try to collect my thoughts, about what happened one week before...

My deepest regrets always comes when I try to collect my thoughts. I hope I can go home sooner. I was foolishly playing at taiga until evening, last month. Making my own adventure as a knight, searching enemies or hunt a deer for meat. I managed to catch one, and happily bring them home at evening. I will make my sister proud to see me getting mature.

"Larisa!"

But when I'm back, I found my house covered by fire, and no sight of sister. I call her name and try to seek her, but no avail. In same time, I found many footprints. Heavy boots. Oh no....

Don't tell me...

I immediately crying aloud as possible. I can only wait until rain put out the fire. Only to find out there's nothing left except the stale bread outside the house. Bread that I left behind two days ago because it fell to the ground. Ah....

I choose to cook the meat, helped with my memory to see how sister cook it for us. And then make it as by supplies while I seek for help. Or a shelter.

I still had the supplies until now, though it starts to smell foul. But no, I'd rather have foul meat than not eat anything. I can't be picky.

My journey to seek a shelter will be long away. But I remembered that sister ever said there is a settlement at east. I will go there. I wish-

Wait. Seems I heard a rustling sound nearby. I try to carefully walk now. And finding out the source of the sound was came from a soldier who also seems lost...

Or more likely, a soldier who walk limply and has his eyes completely white... as if he's going to die...

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Maxim's POV

When I passed by these thin trees, I saw a boy wandering along. He seems a poor orphan who seek shelter. Shall I help him or just walk by?

Before I answer that, the boy approached and stares me deeply. He really wish for a company. But I don't know if I will become his perfect company. I'm not liking children too much. And I don't have any food to share with him.

Don't know why in same time... I nod to him and giving sign to seek another way. Since the boy was leaving the destination that at first I want to reach. We went to east, seeking shelter for us two. We walked in silent, sometimes seeing each other if both of us feel okay. Sometimes we smiled, sometimes we just stared without reason. I felt the journey getting lighter because I have company. Another Russian soul who walked with me.

The boy reminds me with myself as child. I wish I could talk to him, but all questions that I usually asked to myself just gone without trace. And again, I only stared at him with sad eyes.

We kept walking at the day, taking rest by sitting near river at sunset, and sleeping under the tree at night. I let him having my winter coat as his blanket, so he won't get cold at this autumn. I shoot one deer everytime we meet one, and it became food supply for us two.

My first question was quite dumb when I'm starting our conversation, asking him about his family. He answered in somber, that his beloved parents already gone long time ago before war came, and his only sister died at the south of the taiga. Which reminds me with the corpse that I found. Later I told him too about how I also don't have parents too. I don't know - those conversation feels warmer, as we had same thing in common about losing our beloved ones - horribly.

Though I'm jealous how the boy still thinking his parents fondly... But at the same time I'm too tired to confront.

After many dawns and dusks, our journey to the east finally reach the end. We found a small village. They seems untouched by war nor government as there are no existence of Red Army soldiers.

I waved to them, asking for help. And they responded kindly. One babushka quickly giving us the soup and bread. We tell them the whole story while having lunch. They just knew about the war, but gladly that their place considered peaceful.

I'm still thinking whether to stay here or not. I still do miss Moscow, and somehow scared if my decision to leave my old home is a mistake. But after I looked at the boy... seems that it's a right choice to made this little boy as my new brother, and this village as my new home.

A new guilt coming inside my mind when everything turn darker slowly. Am I making the right choice after whatever I have done to my beloved ones?

Dyusha...

I can't die...

.....

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Radoslav's POV

It's been a long time now since my arrival in the remoted village. I never knew its true name. Some said it's a Heavenly Village. Some said it's just a Wheat Village as most of the villagers are work as farmer.

So dear mother, father, sister... don't worry about me anymore. As now I have a new home and family. The old man and woman here are very kind. I'm glad I didn't ended up at terrible orphanage or died in starvation like what that mysterious man said to me.

At the same time... too bad his lifespan was short. He suffered from the wounds that infected his body slowly. Later he died right after we arrived, and the babushka just preparing the medicine. It feels sad because I want to know his history until he spat out every pessimist words while walking limply and giving me his coat... but I'm glad he had a properly burial in the mountains. Maybe the wound made him act like those.

What I can hope for now, that my peaceful moment will be last forever.