[March 1945]
It's been months ever since the Soviets liberated the cities in Czechoslovakia. They settled there, making sure no Germans around. One of them is Andrei who mostly alone on his own, even though his ballet peers are still alive and accompany him during the war.
And one night, Andrei was able to walk alone among the ruins. Convincing everyone that he wants to sleep early. But instead, he walks a bit far away from the crowd, finding that specific abandoned ruin he has looking for. The place that dark and yet safe enough to think. He has done that for some months, at least once in three days.
Then he will sit there to process his twisted mind. The same twisted mind that rotating crazy, ever since Andrei went to South Front in 1941... separated with Maxim who went to Western Front.
"Why am I still alive?"
"Why the war is not intense anymore?"
"Was the Germans really that stupid until cannot aiming my body?"
The memories come again. Each kiss, each touch, each whisper to his body through Maxim's lips. Those are should calming him down, like Maxim promised after intimate moments years ago. But why this disgust him further? Until wishing the bullet purifying his body?
He looks on his pistol near the belt. One trigger on the temple is enough. But he cannot pick it up, and he doesn't know why. Even he start to curse himself for being a coward till not picking up the pistol.
As Andrei blow his nose to his sleeve, he just realised a brunet soldier standing near him with sad smile. Andrei stuttered "...Sorry. I-I can explain. I was too weak-"
"Finally I saw a real human. I am tired to see everyone here still try to toughen up."
Andrei blinked. The soldier sitting across him and start to sobbing hard. Andrei look at him silently... and awkwardly. Yet... he felt safer. He let that soldier finished crying... And the stories exchanged. Andrei learned the soldier depressed after his wife broke the marriage through letter. The soldier learned Andrei's dilemma to still alive during this moment because of a man named Maxim.
Andrei tried his best to cover Maxim as only a best friend. Telling the only non-intimate activities. But still, the story made the soldier look at Andrei in shock and pity. Just when Andrei finished telling his story, the soldier remarked, "If he was truly your best friend... you would tell me with good light and silly chaos. I only kept hearing his fun, not yours. When was the last time you had fun?"
For that first time, Andrei was not offended. Something that Andrei has deny for years whenever the coworkers concern over him was answered... and his fun is questioned.
That night become long enough to crying and exchanging stories...
Then the next months until the victory day feels short afterwards. Andrei has to go back to Moscow with Group 2. That random soldier has to go back to his hometown Makiivka. They hugged tightly before departed forever at train station, wishing to stay alive and finding new chance...
...Even though, Andrei has a new and healthier fear inside the wagon: "Will he meet Maxim again in Moscow?"
***
Author Notes: Just in case anyone asked if there will be explicit story to connect Andrei's memory, the answer is big NO. Just go read or watch smut if you were perverted that much.