[March 1937]
"Back then I often say my wish to the stars... Or to the trees... Or sometimes to God... To make me remember again how does his face looked like. But now... I think I found him..."
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She saw again that small faceless boy near the burnt birch tree. She wants to approach for the bread...
But then she opened her eyes. It's her bedroom inside Belarusian military base again. She has to wake up just like the routine. Changing clothes, washing face, and go to the kitchen in the early morning.
Each stove turned on with the oil and fire. Each vegetables arranged properly so she can chopped fast and no need to run back-forth. One by one military cooks slowly entered the kitchen and do their duty as well.
"Dasha."
The brunette girl who has her hair wrapped into bun and bandana turned her face, when she is minced the garlic. There's an old man with lots of scars stared at her in concern. She know him as the Head Military Chef in this military base.
"Is there something bother you again?"
"Nothing, dad."
The old man chopped the cabbages and said, "If you still occurred that nightmare, just tell me."
"My dream last night was good. No need to worry for me today" the girl put the garlic minces to the big bowl. "Only seeing that faceless boy again. I'm glad he came to my dream again."
"Very well, then. You seems happy everytime you dreamt him." the old man smiled faintly. "At least you have good memory after shite things that happened to you"
The girl exhaled, "I just wished I could forget everything. And only remembered from where I was adopted by you, dad..."
The old man shook his head and patted the girl's back, "We cannot forget our memories completely, Dasha. But we can choose what should we do after receiving those memories."
She glanced, and found herself at the corridor. There's a figure of old woman in front of her. The flashback happened again, and she can only stood there to process it.
"Understand what I said? One more time of this nonsense, and I'll make sure another whip will be come! Heck, you better died from TBC just like the others."
The girl looked scared and she felt she has turned into a little girl once again in that orphanage... but she kept her body firm. Her hands stayed mincing the garlic while watching the cruel woman left her memory.
Then her shoulder held by someone. She shocked. This flashback feels too real. Another harrassment!
She quickly pick up the broom beside the counter, and try to swing as hard as she can.
But all she can found was a black-haired man with green eyes that quickly squatting while gripping his military cap. "Aaaahh!! I'm so sorry!" yelped that man.
The girl calmed herself down. It's not the flashback from childhood, but from last year. She still remember that time, Alexandrov Ensemble had concert tour in some military bases of Belarus. And this man seemed part of the ensemble members considering the uniform looked too outdated than normal Soviet soldiers.
She sighed and warned that man, "You could just called me without touching, young man. I have a very sensitive reaction, just a warning for you"
"Terribly sorry. I just want to ask if I could hang out with you. I find you interesting when I saw you at cafeteria..."
The girl let out a sarcastic laugh, "Whoa. You are foolishly being brave to ask a military cook. But alright. I can hang out a bit today."
"Thank you!"
Her eyes blinked for some seconds. That black-haired man was temporarily changed as that faceless boy with a bread. Because that boy letting out the same exclamation: "Let's sit somewhere so we can talk nicely. Anyway, what's your name? Mine is Dmitry."
"D-Darya..."
And she blinked once again. She has coming back to the kitchen. The old man beside him still watching over her as he knead the large bread dough.
"To remember again... the longer I talk to him, the longer I start to remember again. That boy and that bread.... And so, I'm ready to love someone again. I don't have regret to exchange address with him," said the girl.
The old man is a bit surprised, and he asked "So it means the headless boy you loved was truly him?"
"I'm not sure. But somehow he has same impression that I had long time ago. Nevermind, it doesn't matter anymore. I want to just live this present time."
The girl ended the conversation. She has to put all of the vegetables and garlic into one pot of soup. She stirs and stirs... until one exclamation came out from that old man's lips.
"Wait... did you just tell me you've became his boyfriend and having long distance relationship?"
The girl blushed. The old man clicked his tongue, "Tell me everything, Dasha..."
"Yes. Only officially by this year. Last year, it's only normal exchange between pen pals... Don't worry, dad, he's a good guy."
"I can only hope he quickly propose you. Or I will come to his workplace and beat him for playing with my daughter's heart."
"Come on, dad. No need to dramatize more..." smirked that girl.
The old man now looked at the girl in serious face, "I'm serious, Dasha. I remember as an elephant to know your life ruined by someone. And I cannot let you to be hurt anymore."
The girl's smile gradually faint."I can take care that for now. Don't worry too much about me, dad."
She closed her eyes when she still stirring the pot. To remembering the same year, exactly one day after hanging out with that black-haired man... she actually reunited with that curly-haired man with hazel eyes. The one she used to depend on, and try putting more trust and love...
And only by that time, the girl finally able to confront.
"I do understand if you choose your sister than me. But why didn't you say proper goodbye... or at least giving me clear statement of our relationship? I thought we were more than friends, back then. We kissed once. Then you suddenly move to Leningrad by the next day. And you know what's worse? I got whiplashed because your sister told the caretaker that I am seducing you! I almost died before my foster father saved and adopt me!!"
The curly-haired man flinched and looked very ashamed. "I'm sorry, Dasha... I wish we could return to the past so I could protect you again... But you know, my sister-"
"Nevermind, Lyosha. Those already become past. Just be lucky we are still alive now, and have happy life."
"Please listen to me, Dasha. I still love you from our first meeting at orphanage. It's just unlucky situation that makes us separated abruptly. Now I want to fix it. I promise to leave my sister. I just know that she has ruined our relationship..."
But the curly-haired man looked broken as the girl emphasised, "If you want to fix everything between us, go away right now. Live your life alone. Go seek a woman to be happy with and be gentle to her... But don't dare to ask me anymore. I already moved on, and I don't want you to ruin it once again."
His fist clenched. His voice turn low and slow. "Don't tell me you had another man. So you brushed me off like this. I remember how you used to cling onto me, saying that I was the only boy that understand you!!"
"If you already sense it, then why are you still asking me?"
The curly-haired man finally lowered his face, "Just last question, who is the man that maddening you like this?"
The girl smirked, "Over my dead body to know who he is."
And thus, the answer instead made that curly-haired man smirked and deadly glared at her, "I'm not stupid. Of course I will know soon without you telling me. I'll make sure his body that I will walk over first. Just wait, Dasha..."
Without saying goodbye, that curly-haired man left the corridor.
The girl opened her eyes, finding herself in present once again. She hasn't told that awful reunion to her foster father. She took glance at him and said, "Really, don't worry about me."
The old man finally looked convinced and patted her, "Fine if you insist, my child. Just please, be careful..."
"Thank you, dad..." she turned off the stove and held the large pot with mittens as she beamed, "Finally the soup is done! I shall put them to the counter."
"It smells good, as usual. The soldiers will like your food."
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Soon the sunrise has turn into sunset. The girl had chance to take a rest for a while after such long hardwork. She sits outside of the military base, staring at the magenta sky. She puts her hands on the chest, pondering the flashback that came today.
"I don't know if my choice was right to react toward my memories..."
Then she looked on her right. The place where she used to hang out for half an hour with that black-haired man. She imagined to sit down with the faceless boy... who finally now has a smiling face. The same smiling face that pulled by that black-haired man.
"What I can only do is to be better than yesterday, that's all..."